I lost my childhood and found reality

I lost a best friend and found my own voice

I lost my voice and found the still silence

I lost a love and found a passion

I lost prestige and found humility

I lost good luck and found hard work

I lost dear ones and found eternity

I lost my optimism and found introspection

I lost mental health and found divine healing

I lost control and found submission

I lost my confidence and found repentance

I lost my will and found forgiveness

I lost my worth and found my identity

I lost my life and found freedom

I lost my religion and found faith

I lost my faith and found my savior

Truly, genuinely, honestly…nearly every significant experience I’ve had with the God of the universe has been in the midst of a significant, literal loss.  Loss of people, loss of dreams, loss of plans, loss of hopes, loss of possessions, loss of integrity, loss of more people, and on and on and on.  Sometimes I think that is God’s love language to me- or maybe that’s the only way he can get my attention because I certainly did NOT go gently into those good nights!

But being nearly fully on the flip side of losing almost everything but the divinely-permitted air in my lungs, I can stand in joy with gratitude of the unique grace of God that built me back up in such a bold and blatant way that even this cynic cannot take credit for or explain away.

What IF you step into loss expectantly, walking in confidence of your inheritance of the incomparable comfort of your savior- by him, through him and of him who made you, who loved you, who chose you.  And what IF the Lord uses this loss for the purpose of gain…gain in His name, for your joy, to his glory.  Praise God from whom all blessings flow- in the blessings of bounty and of burden.

C.S. Lewis said, “praise seems to be inner health made audible”.  The fuel of this praise is the perfect love of the triune God and the perfect love of the triune God overflows into praise.  This love allows me to feel the pain, feel the loss, feel the fear- but praise his goodness and trust in his plan.  I invite the Lord in to all those messy, dark, twisty places and let him do what he does.

There is a lot of proverbial water under the religiosity bridge and I struggle with not throwing out the baby Jesus with the evangelical bathwater.  I’ve found peace in the fact the body of believers imperfectly struggles just as I imperfectly struggle and the cloud of witnesses that have gone before imperfectly struggled.  Despite our shared imperfection, I can’t help but fear being judged the way I know I have judged.   But I will walk with the Lord in that fear.  And I will go with the Lord where he goes.  And I will follow the Lord where he leads.